Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
哭到不行，想念hk，真的想念。那些无忧无虑的日子，电影本身一般，但是为了那些日子，为了梅艳芳的那句身体力行的香港是我家，我要无脑给五星
更喜欢原版，阴差阳错很老实但也很纯粹的旧派喜剧。新版试图丰富亲情的元素同时，又增加了拉丁裔亚裔和同性元素，不得不让人觉得过犹不及。最亮眼的肯定是维文，但事实证明她还是适合飒爽疯嗨的角色。
104号。比法国原版更丰满，情感做得也更丰沛，很喜欢男主这个演员，可塑性无比强。
渣男真是影帝啊，在电话里同时面对老婆和情人时，说瞎话的本事真是令人乍舌。
醒醒，就你搬得最慢 2022-5-28 01:35:38
225分钟版。期间哭了很多次，常常闭上眼听着歌就感觉又见到了她和他，但是看演员的表演还是不够有信服力，王丹妮饰演梅姐年轻时候的部分还不错，意气风发，有几首歌是原声，竟然还不错，可惜越到后面越撑不住，最重要的演唱会场景还是崩了。至于刘俊谦，太别扭了，每场戏都是灾难。
原作就是一个单纯的幽默喜剧，而翻拍版加入了更多的政治正确主流元素，尤其强调家庭元素，因此娱乐性有所降低。不过妈妈葬礼上男主的悼词还是挺打动人的。
为什么我感觉自己在看《诺丁山》。但始终又无法进入某种惊艳和刺激，高潮的部分。
哭晕在电影院~太破防了~这么多年，两个巨星的陨落，就像香港一样~“这几十年来，我都没见过香港像现在这么惨。”一语成谶不甚唏嘘~片子本身太走马观花了~和姐姐的关系太刻意了~王丹妮和芳姑还是很神似的，但是哥哥就差太多了，仿佛是一体育明星~慢歌唱的是唏嘘，这句话真是刻到了芳姑的骨子里
比我想象的还更好一些，好久没见古校长演稍微走心一点的角色了
很老套很俗的剧情，不过这种桥段就是屡试不爽，挺不错的，结局没落入俗套不错。
精神广东人表示流干了今年的眼泪。（一个人看电影真香😅，btw 五星给阿梅
十八载的光阴，足够让流言风平浪静；四十年的芳华，担得起荣光香港女儿。自卑又坚韧，时代的浪潮加之于身；胆怯又勇敢，感情的遗憾铭之于心。一曲夕阳之歌，婚礼殿堂红毯阔别。这满堂宾客都来贺你，贺你风华绝代，举世无双；这满场眼泪都来送你，送你璀璨一生，星月同光。
意料之外的好看，最重要的是在喜剧情节中加入了很多温情的成分，虽然有一些老套，但是很是能够吸引人，产生共鸣。
运气加天赋加努力的结果，不过看到张国荣演员还是很出戏耶。
虽然我快哭瞎了但是真的不如直接用影像资料剪个纪录片
整体不错，中间插入了一些梅姐当年的片段，有一种时代重叠的感觉，看到她与姐姐告别，参加哥哥的葬礼，心疼她不断地得到和失去，不知是情怀作祟还是年纪大了，眼泪流的不受控制。
看名字还以为是个闹剧 没想到很正的剧情片 还是可以的
4-…这部片子剧本其实蛮扎实的，几条线情节和细节都交代得还可以，人物塑造和最后结局都挺顺畅不矫情，适合周末下饭看……ps.男主角过于囧相稍微不讨喜了一点，女主角一出场总觉得马上要掏出武器开始复仇渣男……
翻完，没啥意思，主要女主颜值打扮我没惊艳到吧
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